A Fairly Specific Example of How to Acquire a Night-Before Meltdown (Well Before its Due Date)

  1. Learn when your paper is due. Think about how you’ll probably never think about it again (even though you know you’ll have to).
  2. Learn that you’re about to write a non-conventional essay. How original.
    • Take a deep breath. You know you’ll need it.
  3. Start researching for said non-conventional paper about that Thing approximately 3 weeks after it was assigned (and 2 weeks before it’s due)
  4. Realize the one thing you needed you research is wrong (thanks to one minute detail) and you need to start almost from Square One.
    • Sigh loudly. Ignore the fact that you just wasted three hours researching the wrong thing.
  5. Start outlining the proper research topic and prepare to dig into archives. (Or, in other words, prepare to scroll. Endlessly.)
  6. Scroll for a few hours on the respective internet tabs.
    • Accidentally go back a page. (This is where you restart all that scrolling you just did.)
    • Proceed to make the same mistake—three more times.
  7. Take a moment to think about the number of hours wasted, staring at an ever-scrolling web page, and cue the NBM (Night-Before Meltdown).
    • Screaming into a pillow is optional.
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